While I don’t usually write about my job on the internet for many reasons, this week has been a little stressful for me and I need to vent a little bit. Since I’ve started my new job, I’ve gone from working with a group of people constantly to a much more independent go at your own pace kind of place. Sure, I’m still working with a lot of people but most days I’m in my office which is secluded away from the rest of the world (actually though, you need a name badge AND a password to get into it, I don’t get too many visitors). While I can’t say I miss my old job (maybe it hasn’t been long enough yet) I’m still not sure if this is the right fit for me.
I took this job knowing that I was probably not going to stay forever (with dreams of grad school looming in the future) but I knew I’d be here at least a year or two. What I didn’t really think about was the in between. In many ways, this job is dramatically easier than my last job (no moving 250lb+ patients with one other person, no night shifts, no 12 hour days) but in others its a little more stressful. I have a MUCH larger patient load to deal with (i.e. two a night to everyone my department has ever cared for). Woowee. Talk about a difference. My friends and I in the ICU always joked that we could never work on the floors because you had to think about too many people at once. Guess I’m testing out the waters.
Now that my grace period of being the new kid on the block is ending and I’m expected to be fully functional within the department, I’m finding little things stress me out. I’m usually very organized but I’m still learning what works best when dealing with so many people at once. The good news is that I’m also stretching to learn new skills. I’m working more independently and figuring out the ins and outs of working in an office setting. Office politics are a new thing for me but that goes with any job. Although, I will say, its much easier to avoid them when you can hide in your patients’ rooms all night. Now I have a pager which, speaking of, I’m still struggling to remember to carry.
All in all, I can’t complain when I think about how miserable I was before. Mainly because I’ve never been a night owl and two years of night shift had literally destroyed me. This job came at the right time for me. I felt kind of lost thinking I was doomed to working on the unit forever so starting something a little different and challenging is good for me. While I probably won’t be winning award for most efficient or organized nurse of the department any time soon, at least I’ll have my pager on me.