I know things have been silent around here lately and that’s (mostly) due to the fact that I haven’t had a computer at home. I’ve been using my iPad at home a lot and putting off the time until I actually had to purchase a computer but as classes start next month I figured it was time to bite the bullet and do it.
The other reason why I’ve been is absent is because I’ve been busy. I moved into my first home and had to hard core adult all by myself (while taking a grad school course and working 2 jobs). I’m finally settling into a routine and I feel like the dust is starting to settle. Now that that’s happening I’m reevaluating my life a little and fine tuning what’s important to me. Unfortunately right now, that means that my priorities are changing. I’ve grown so much stronger in the past few years and I’ve become so much more independent. Because of this, I’ve learned that its ok to say no. It’s ok to put your foot down and its ok to stand up for yourself.
I’ve often struggled with asserting my needs and feeling like I’m being too aggressive. When I was younger, I was always told that I was too vocal and that led to the deterioration of certain friendships as I grew up. I think I compensated for that by letting myself swing in the opposite direction during my college/post college years. I’ve learned recently that its possible to set boundaries and that you can’t make everyone happy. Sometimes you have to be a little mean to stand up for yourself-no one else is going to do that for you.
As I enter this new stage in my life, I’m becoming ok with the fact that my relationships are changing. I’m thinking of one in particular as I write this post and I’ve had some time to come to terms with it. While I try to go out of my way for my friends, I don’t have room in my life for those who only have time for me at their convenience. Friendship should involve a give and take from both parties and it shouldn’t just be assumed that because you’ve known someone for ages that you’ll always be around.
If I’ve learned anything this summer its that you shouldn’t hold grudges towards people as we all have struggles. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing when you’ve had enough that its time to let go and move forward.